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PseudoBritannia: FuserUnit

twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU ARE KING OF LIES
Fuser: WHAT ARE YOU MAKING OF LIES YOU JERK
Fuser: YOU LIED ABOUT NOT CAUSING ALL THOSE FUSER UNITS TO DESTROY THE CITY
Fuser: "YOUR HONOR, THOSE FUSER UNITS WERE OBVIOUSLY SET LOOSE BY TERRORISTS"
Fuser: YEAH, NICE ONE
twelvetwo (Gaim): I AM A TERRORISTS
Fuser: AHA
Fuser: THE TRUTH COMES OUT
Fuser: NOW IT IS TIME YOU WENT TO JAIL
Fuser: CLOUD JAIL
twelvetwo (Gaim): NO
twelvetwo (Gaim): NOT WHERE THEY ARE ALL CLOUD

twelvetwo (Gaim): Oh whew, I was expecting Cloud Strife.
Fuser: NOW YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE YOUR CLOUDY PRISON
Fuser: EXCEPT BY FALLING TO YOUR DEATH
Fuser: SO IT IS CLOUDS FOREVER\
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE IMPRESSED BY THIS?

twelvetwo (Gaim): Some mario clouds, some ordinary clouds, some just covered in cotton balls... no unity!
Fuser: WAIT UNTIL WE DELIVER THE CLOUD STRIFE FANBOYS IN A FEW MINUTES
Fuser: AND A FEW TAILS AND SONIC FANBOYS
Fuser: IE, FURRIES
twelvetwo (Gaim): CLOUD STRIFE FURRIES?
Fuser: BOTH
Fuser: ENJOY
Fuser: OH BOY I GOT A FULL LOAD OF YU-GI-OH FANBOYS
Fuser: YOU'RE GETTING ALL KINDS OF COMPANY UP THERE
Fuser: NO LONELY IOCUS
Fuser: ANY SPECIAL REQUESTS?
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WOULD ENJOY SOME BOOTH BABES IMPORTED FROM E3
Fuser: I'VE GOT NINTENDO FANBOYS
Fuser: I'LL DELIVER THOSE

twelvetwo (Gaim): NO!

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
Fuser: DON'T WORRY BUDDY
Fuser: ONLY 20 MORE YEARS THERE
Fuser: THEN YOU ARE ELIGIBLE FOR PAROLE
Fuser: MAYBE

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): milk?

Fuser: No, some sort of "cock juice" that it says on your papers that you like
Fuser: We looked around for a guy named "Stan"
Fuser: We're not sure if he's the right Stan

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

Fuser: I wonder what is the problem. Who wouldn't want to be the only male on an island full of desperate women?
Fuser: Yet all the winners keep escaping...
Fuser: That is the THIRD one.
Fuser: How strange.

Fuser: I'll figure this out, somehow...

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): ._.

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): You leave me with no other choice, Fuser. No other choice.

twelvetwo (Gaim): May I use my one call now?
Fuser: Sorry, the thunderstorms broke the phones
twelvetwo (Gaim): ...

twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN!

Fuser: Oh noes! The wind took most of the sheets!
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN!
Fuser: Let's see though
Fuser: This sheet has the I's
twelvetwo (Gaim): NO NEED, I AM IOCUS WITH AN L.
Fuser: Ian

 Ianious...

Fuser: Hrm... it cuts off at Ioan
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN
Fuser: Well, it looks like you check out
twelvetwo (Gaim): Yay!

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): :(

twelvetwo (Gaim): No other choice then.

twelvetwo (Gaim): Doc, install a cyanide tooth so I am better at sports.

twelvetwo (Gaim): My chance!

Fuser: Iocus! Install these fuser units
Fuser: And maybe we'll let you back among the women
Fuser: If you behave

Fuser: /me does a headcount on the survivors, and has the bodies shipped back to the mainland

twelvetwo (Gaim): Soon.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Sooon, my children.

twelvetwo (Gaim): For freedom!

Fuser: I BUILT MY EMPIRE AND WEALTH ON IOCUS! HE IS MY FLAGSHIP PRISONER! DO NOT LET HIM ESCAPE!

Fuser: I PROVED WITH HIM THAT CLOUD PRISONS ARE NOT JUST A RETARDED FANTASY

Fuser: AND I GOT PAID MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE TO LOCK UP THE FANBOYS!!
Fuser: I WON'T LET MY FLAGSHIP PRISONER ESCAPE
Fuser: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

twelvetwo (Gaim): Fuser units, keep this up and you'll be able to enjoy all of New York!
Fuser: DO YOU READ ME?!
Fuser: IOCUS PURSUIT TEAM!
Fuser: RESPOND!
Fuser: DAMNIT!
Fuser: HE MUST HAVE MORE FUSER UNITS
Fuser: SEND IN TRITH

Fuser: SEND HIM IN THE ATTACK CHOPPERS
Fuser: TAKE IOCUS BACK
twelvetwo (Gaim): New York City, this is where the distribution warehouse is for Fuser Units.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Gah, helicopters, I only have nine more of you left. Go for freedom!

twelvetwo (Gaim): They sent Trith?!

Fuser: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET IF HE IS CAPTURED ALIVE! AN ENTIRE LEMON ORCHARD!

twelvetwo (Gaim): Noooo!

Fuser: YES!
Fuser: SUCCESS!
twelvetwo (Gaim): Trith! Kevson works for Fuser.

Fuser: HE IS LYING
twelvetwo (Gaim): Kevson works for Fuser! He is on FuserCorp?'s pay roll!
Fuser: KEVSON IS A PRISONER
Fuser: HE WAS IMPRISONED WITH IOCUS
Fuser: I HAVE THE PAPERWORK RIGHT HERE
twelvetwo (Gaim): He lies! Believe me! Look at the financial records!
Fuser: KEVSON IS STILL IN THE CLOUD PRISON
Fuser: HE REMAINS IN SOLITARY WITH THE MICHAEL JACKSON FANS
twelvetwo (Gaim): Not only that but, FuserCorp? produces Fuser Units. He is planning something, don't trust him!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THINK OF THE LEMONS
Fuser: A LEMON ORCHARD
Fuser: ALL YOURS
Fuser: ONCE IOCUS IS RETURNED
twelvetwo (Gaim): THERE WILL BE NO TIME FOR LEMONS IF THE WORLD IS DESTROYED BY FUSER UNITS
Fuser: IOCUS IS TRYING TO DECEIVE YOU
twelvetwo (Gaim): THEIR TRUE PROGRAMMING IS REVEALED ONCE THEY ARE DAMAGED, I WAS GOING TO REVEAL THIS TO THE WORLD. HELP ME.
Fuser: HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN DAMAGING THEM
twelvetwo (Gaim): FUSERCORP HAS A STANDING ARMY OF FUSER UNITS READY. AN EARTHQUAKE OR JUST A GOOD SMACK WILL SET THEM OFF ONTO DESTRUCTION
Fuser: ONE OF THE UNITS YOU CAPTURED IN THE DESTRUCTION OF THAT CITY
Fuser: WAS MODIFIED
Fuser: AND THE MODIFICATIONS... HAD IOCUS' FINGERPRINTS
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WAS TRYING TO REPAIR THEM, BUT I DISCOVERED THAT IT WAS THEIR PURPOSE. NOT TO PRINT, OR TO FUSE, BUT TO DESTROY

twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE. THE CLOUD PRISON IS JUST AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD ALL THAT THREATEN HIM.
Fuser: SEE?!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THE ISLAND IS NO MORE THAN A TRICK.
Fuser: IOCUS HAS BEEN DOING IT
Fuser: ALL ALONG
twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU WILL BE IN THE CLOUD PRISON NEXT
Fuser: THE ONLY PRISONERS ARE THE FANBOYS
Fuser: AND KEVSON
Fuser: I WAS PAID BY SOCIETY TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE AWAY
Fuser: WHERE THEY CANNOT FOUL UP OUR STREETS AND OUR INTERNET
twelvetwo (Gaim): ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO ME, OR FUSER, THE MAN WHO WILLFULLY ALLOWS THESE FUSER UNITS TO BE SOLD EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS THAT WITH ONLY A SLIGHT BUMP THEY BECOME SOCIOPATHIC KILLING MACHINES
Fuser: IOCUS HAS BEEN THE ONE DAMAGING THEM INTENTIONALLY
Fuser: WE HAVE THE SECURITY FOOTAGE
Fuser: HE EVEN DESTROYED A NUNNERY WITH THEM
Fuser: AND HE HAS BEEN MODIFYING THEM

Fuser: "Good job Trith. We'll take him from here. Here's your lemon deed."
Fuser: SEE!
Fuser: He blew up a helicopter and an innocent pilot!

Fuser: A deceitful destroyer!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED

Fuser: DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE, MEN
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS THE FINAL SHOWDOWN, FUSER.

Fuser: AHA!
Fuser: YOU HAVE DONE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO
Fuser: THIS WAS THE FINAL TEST
twelvetwo (Gaim): ALL I HAVE TO DO IS HIT ONE OF THESE FUSER UNITS AND A CHAIN OF EVENTS WILL OCCUR CAUSING ALL OF THEM TO MALFUNCTION.
Fuser: THE FUSER UNITS ARE READY FOR DEPLOYMENT
twelvetwo (Gaim): REVEALING TO THE WORLD THAT FUSERCORP IS A FRONT FOR A SINISTER PLAN
Fuser: IN FACT, THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN
Fuser: LOOK BEFORE YOU
Fuser: THE WAREHOUSE IS EMPTY
Fuser: YOU ARE TRAPPED
twelvetwo (Gaim): OH, MY, STARS. YOU'VE ALREADY SENT THEM AROUND THE WORLD?
Fuser: Men, retrieve the prisoner.

twelvetwo (Gaim): AS SOON AS THEY ARE TURNED ON THEY'LL BE SO DISPERSED IT WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP THEM ALL
Fuser: He actually thought you were not a part of this...
Fuser: Good job... sir.
twelvetwo (Gaim): TRITH, YOU FOOL. THE LEMONS WILL NOT SURVIVE THE COMING END TIMES

Fuser: Your performance was... glorious.
Fuser: We simply removed all hope, then provided the fuser units

Fuser: And you did our dirty work for us
Fuser: The world... will blame you.
Fuser: Everything... everything is on tape.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Then, I have nothing else to say then...
Fuser: And when the world seeks answers... they will find it in your... confessions...
twelvetwo (Gaim): I, PROMISE, this will work out for you.
Fuser: Oh, it looks like you have some visitors, Iocus. Say hello to Warder and Houston for me...
twelvetwo (Gaim): I promise you, fuser, this will work out exactly as you want. I PROMISE YOU.
Fuser: Come on, Trith. Let's have some lemons.

twelvetwo (Gaim): PROMISE YOU
Fuser: When the world is ravaged, who will be there to save them from Iocus' mad tampering.. but you. And who'll step in to rule the world after the destruction but us. From our fuser unit-free cloudbases...

twelvetwo (Gaim): EPILOGUE
Fuser: The fuser units ravaged the world, destroying all semblance of the existing order and governments...
Fuser: FuserCorp? dispatched teams of trained fuser unit-neutralizers... like Trith...
Fuser: The Island was one of the few safe-havens from the destruction...
twelvetwo (Gaim): On it the new world government was formed, Fuser as World-Soverign began a peaceful rule over the world...
twelvetwo (Gaim): The fuser-units safely dispatched and placed in a giant garbage dumpster as is standard neutralization method...
twelvetwo (Gaim): all was safe and kind for five years... but over those years the fuser-units in such close proximity began to form rudimentary sapience and sentience... the promise given by Iocus was soon broken as the Fuser-Units arose once more and the battle for the Earth began... and would continue... for the next thousand years.
Fuser: SEQUEL
Fuser: A THOUSAND YEARS HAVE PASSED
Fuser: MYSTERIOUSLY, ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE THE SAME
Fuser: BUT NOW THEY ARE ALL WARRIORS
twelvetwo (Gaim): A rogue team of Fuser Neutralizer Monks apprehend a 15th generation Fuser Unit, adjusting its programming they send it back in time to stop the events that brought about the Fuser Unit War.
twelvetwo (Gaim): FUSER UNIT: AUDITING DAY
Fuser: "Your mission is to.. kill Iocus.. before he makes his promise..."
twelvetwo (Gaim): But all is not so easy for the 15th Generation Fuser Unit, for as their time line begins to vanish the Fuser Units react and send into the past cybernetically enhanced Iocus back in time to protect the Iocus of the past. Part-Fuser Unit, Part-Iocus.
twelvetwo (Gaim): The third movie can have a Fuser Unit that is a naked lady with boobs.
Fuser: !!

Fuser: WHO WROTE THIS CRAP!
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): That would be Melvin, sir.
Fuser: THIS SEQUEL IS NOT EVEN NEAR AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL
twelvetwo (Gaim): Should we add more sexploitation?
Fuser: WHERE ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT MADE THE FIRST ONE GREAT? THE STRUGGLE AGAINST THE OVERARCHING VILLAINY THAT FAILS?! THE HORRIFIC MISTREATMENT OF PRISONERS?! THE DRAMA OF THE CHASE SCENE?!
Fuser: THE FURRIES?!
Fuser: THIS MOVIE HAS NONE OF IT!
twelvetwo (Gaim): There is a fourty minute rave dance sex scene involving only furries.
Fuser: IT IS JUST A TWO HOUR BATTLE
twelvetwo (Gaim): WE CAN ADD MORE EXPLOSIONS?
Fuser: AND IN THE END THEY DON'T EVEN RESOLVE ANYTHING
Fuser: THEY JUST WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS THE MIDDLE EPISODE OF A TRILOGY
Fuser: THIS IS CRAP
twelvetwo (Gaim): ALL THE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED BY THE THIRD MOVIE
Fuser: IF I DON'T GET A BETTER SCRIPT, I AM CANCELLING YOUR FUNDING AND YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE SPECIAL NEEDS HOME YOU OLYMPIC WASHUP
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS SO HARD FOR A JAMIACAN TO WIN THE OLYMPIC GOLD IN CURLING

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Page last modified on May 31, 2006, at 12:18 PM