twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU ARE KING OF LIES
Fuser: WHAT ARE YOU MAKING OF LIES YOU JERK
Fuser: YOU LIED ABOUT NOT CAUSING ALL THOSE FUSER UNITS TO DESTROY THE CITY
Fuser: "YOUR HONOR, THOSE FUSER UNITS WERE OBVIOUSLY SET LOOSE BY TERRORISTS"
Fuser: YEAH, NICE ONE
twelvetwo (Gaim): I AM A TERRORISTS
Fuser: AHA
Fuser: THE TRUTH COMES OUT
Fuser: NOW IT IS TIME YOU WENT TO JAIL
Fuser: CLOUD JAIL
twelvetwo (Gaim): NO
twelvetwo (Gaim): NOT WHERE THEY ARE ALL CLOUD
- Fuser flies Iocus up several miles and kicks him off the plane and into the clouds
twelvetwo (Gaim): Oh whew, I was expecting Cloud Strife.
Fuser: NOW YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE YOUR CLOUDY PRISON
Fuser: EXCEPT BY FALLING TO YOUR DEATH
Fuser: SO IT IS CLOUDS FOREVER\
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- twelvetwo (Gaim) sits idly on the cloud level.
twelvetwo (Gaim): REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE IMPRESSED BY THIS?
- Fuser is proud of a job well done, and delivers his first batch of Cloud-impersonating fanboys to the cloud prison
- twelvetwo (Gaim) looks confused as a series of people dressed up as fluffy white clouds begin to enter.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Some mario clouds, some ordinary clouds, some just covered in cotton balls... no unity!
Fuser: WAIT UNTIL WE DELIVER THE CLOUD STRIFE FANBOYS IN A FEW MINUTES
Fuser: AND A FEW TAILS AND SONIC FANBOYS
Fuser: IE, FURRIES
twelvetwo (Gaim): CLOUD STRIFE FURRIES?
Fuser: BOTH
Fuser: ENJOY
Fuser: OH BOY I GOT A FULL LOAD OF YU-GI-OH FANBOYS
Fuser: YOU'RE GETTING ALL KINDS OF COMPANY UP THERE
Fuser: NO LONELY IOCUS
Fuser: ANY SPECIAL REQUESTS?
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WOULD ENJOY SOME BOOTH BABES IMPORTED FROM E3
Fuser: I'VE GOT NINTENDO FANBOYS
Fuser: I'LL DELIVER THOSE
- Fuser sends some Nintendo fanboys
twelvetwo (Gaim): NO!
- Fuser waves to Iocus as he flied off
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
Fuser: DON'T WORRY BUDDY
Fuser: ONLY 20 MORE YEARS THERE
Fuser: THEN YOU ARE ELIGIBLE FOR PAROLE
Fuser: MAYBE
- Fuser delivers the female fangirls to a tropical island
- Fuser delivers some MALE fan"girls" to the cloud prison
- twelvetwo (Gaim) jumps off the cloud
- Fuser watches Iocus plummet into the prisoner-retention system which deposits him back on the top of the cloud
- Fuser flies by delivering a collection of otherkin and stops to tell Iocus the bad news, that his sentence was actually 30 years
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- twelvetwo (Gaim) jumps again
- Fuser delivers the GOOD news, that there is a drawing in which one prisoner is to be transfered to the island
- Fuser watches the prisoner-retention system snag and delay in returning Iocus while the drawing is being held
- Fuser watches the system finally return Iocus after the drawing is complete
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- twelvetwo (Gaim) jumps again
- Fuser finds the one weak spot in the system and has the technicians repair it while Iocus is being returned
- twelvetwo (Gaim) begins using one of the smaller fanboys as a bludgeon to bring down the other ones, then using their cosplay outfits to tie them all together into a sort of human flying machine.
- Fuser accidentally breaks the machine up as he is delivering the first batch of Michael Jackson fans
- Fuser informs everyone that there is going to be another drawing as the last winner somehow escaped the island on a "boat"
- twelvetwo (Gaim) makes a running start and jumps off the cloud tied to a set of great wings composed of stifly tied fanboys. It does not work and he promptly falls.
- Fuser watches as they are returned as the second drawing ends
- Fuser reluctantly has the guards straight-jacket Iocus
- Fuser tells them that if Iocus gets "rowdy" one more time, to stick him in one of the used fursuits
- Fuser has the doctors give Iocus a frothy glass of...
twelvetwo (Gaim): milk?
- Fuser also has them tell him that if he acts up anymore, he'll be held innelligible from future drawings
Fuser: No, some sort of "cock juice" that it says on your papers that you like
Fuser: We looked around for a guy named "Stan"
Fuser: We're not sure if he's the right Stan
- Fuser holds a THIRD drawing, as apparently the second winner also escaped the tropical island on a "boat"
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- Fuser declares one of the gay furries as the winner
- twelvetwo (Gaim) inches toward the edge of the cloud to jump
- Fuser has the guards keeping a close eye on Iocus, and one of them looks Iocus in the eye and nods at the -excessively- stained fursuit
Fuser: I wonder what is the problem. Who wouldn't want to be the only male on an island full of desperate women?
Fuser: Yet all the winners keep escaping...
Fuser: That is the THIRD one.
Fuser: How strange.
- twelvetwo (Gaim) inches ever-closer to the edge
- Fuser holds no drawing this time, but personally picks out a gay Babylon 5 fanboy to go to the island
Fuser: I'll figure this out, somehow...
- Fuser sees the guards grimace and drag Iocus over to the fursuit
- Fuser shakes his head as they force Iocus into the suit and tie his feet together
- twelvetwo (Gaim) begins rolling toward the edge of the cloud
- Fuser gets an idea and is about to send Iocus to the island when he sees Iocus roll into a fanboy and knock him over, and sadly disqualifies Iocus from all future drawings as a "troublemaker"
- twelvetwo (Gaim) reaches the edge and flops off the edge of the cloud.
- Fuser waits until the prisoner-retention system returns Iocus, then places him under constant "prisoner-watch" of the 20 greasiest fanboys present
- twelvetwo (Gaim) bribes the fanboys with promises of free cosplay tailoring if only they'd put him out of his misery
- Fuser sends another gay fanboy to the island
- Fuser gets word from a snitch and has Iocus transfered to a confinement chamber with Kevson
- twelvetwo (Gaim) taunts Kevson into a murderous rage
- Fuser places Kevson in charge
- Fuser reminds Kevson that he cannot injure Iocus, but has full control to do anything else
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- Fuser gets frustrated at all the escapees from the island
- Fuser has a sign placed at the docs "BOAT NOT FOR PRISONERS"
- Fuser notices a thunderstorm coming and places all the prisoners into the safe confinement chambers, piling the Michael Jackson fanboys into Iocus and Kevson's chamber
twelvetwo (Gaim): ._.
- twelvetwo (Gaim) loses all will to live and heart stops beating
- Fuser has a doctor save Iocus and place him on "Will-Support"
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): You leave me with no other choice, Fuser. No other choice.
- Fuser considers another transfer to the island
- Fuser points randomly
twelvetwo (Gaim): May I use my one call now?
Fuser: Sorry, the thunderstorms broke the phones
twelvetwo (Gaim): ...
- Fuser realises he is pointing at Iocus as he speaks
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN!
- Fuser looks at the disqualified list to double-check
Fuser: Oh noes! The wind took most of the sheets!
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN!
Fuser: Let's see though
Fuser: This sheet has the I's
twelvetwo (Gaim): NO NEED, I AM IOCUS WITH AN L.
Fuser: Ian
Ianious...
Fuser: Hrm... it cuts off at Ioan
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WIN
Fuser: Well, it looks like you check out
twelvetwo (Gaim): Yay!
- Fuser has Iocus sent to the island, where the storms have broken all the remaining boats
- Fuser has the docks walled off, so that the entire island is completely escape-proof
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- Fuser gets concerned over the growing thunderstorms and considers transfering all the men to the island and relocating the women to Australia
- Fuser asks for opinions
- twelvetwo (Gaim) pushes over a tree, and stands under it.
- Fuser sees the banana tree toppled over and Iocus standing under the shade of the leaves
- Fuser decides to segregate Iocus from the women due to continued misconduct
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
- twelvetwo (Gaim) tries bludgeoning himself with a rock
- Fuser has Iocus placed back in the straightjacket and fursuit
twelvetwo (Gaim): No other choice then.
- twelvetwo (Gaim) chomps down on his false tooth releasing delicious molasses
- Fuser sends Iocus to the dentist
twelvetwo (Gaim): Doc, install a cyanide tooth so I am better at sports.
- Fuser gets distracted as a batch of Fuser units is delivered
twelvetwo (Gaim): My chance!
- Fuser recruits Iocus onto a work party
Fuser: Iocus! Install these fuser units
Fuser: And maybe we'll let you back among the women
Fuser: If you behave
- twelvetwo (Gaim) clicks his fingers together as he appreciates the moment of oppourtunity
- twelvetwo (Gaim) begins smashing the fuser units together and against the wall
- Fuser begins to rumble across the floor en masse
- twelvetwo (Gaim) follows behind them expecting to escape in the chaos to follow
- Fuser is off on another flight delivering Star Wars fanboys to the cloud prison when he hears a horrified dispatch from the island prison about fuser units going berzerk
- twelvetwo (Gaim) builds a raft and loads some fuser units on them and tries to sail to civilization
- Fuser calls up Trith, the hero who averted another fuser unit disaster
- Fuser gets word back from the prison that the fuser units have been stopped after several terrifying days
- Fuser begins to rebuild the prison
Fuser: /me does a headcount on the survivors, and has the bodies shipped back to the mainland
- Fuser checks on the bodies... all except one male...
- twelvetwo (Gaim) continues floating toward the mainland with fuser units chittering and whirring about.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Soon.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Sooon, my children.
- Fuser reviews security footage and sees Iocus escaping on a raft and sends a pursuit team
- twelvetwo (Gaim) looks back and sees two speed boats in pursuit
twelvetwo (Gaim): For freedom!
- twelvetwo (Gaim) hurls a fuser unit at one of the speed boats causing it to explode in flaming screams
- Fuser radios the other boat
Fuser: I BUILT MY EMPIRE AND WEALTH ON IOCUS! HE IS MY FLAGSHIP PRISONER! DO NOT LET HIM ESCAPE!
- twelvetwo (Gaim) throws another, missing, it plunks into the water. Dead fish and sharks bubble up to the surface.
Fuser: I PROVED WITH HIM THAT CLOUD PRISONS ARE NOT JUST A RETARDED FANTASY
- twelvetwo (Gaim) throws another and it gets onto the pursuing speed boat.
Fuser: AND I GOT PAID MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE TO LOCK UP THE FANBOYS!!
Fuser: I WON'T LET MY FLAGSHIP PRISONER ESCAPE
Fuser: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
- Fuser waits for a response
- twelvetwo (Gaim) watchs as a bloodied hand slides down the window and the ship slows to a halt
twelvetwo (Gaim): Fuser units, keep this up and you'll be able to enjoy all of New York!
Fuser: DO YOU READ ME?!
Fuser: IOCUS PURSUIT TEAM!
Fuser: RESPOND!
Fuser: DAMNIT!
Fuser: HE MUST HAVE MORE FUSER UNITS
Fuser: SEND IN TRITH
- twelvetwo (Gaim) sails on, the statue of liberty on the horizon.
Fuser: SEND HIM IN THE ATTACK CHOPPERS
Fuser: TAKE IOCUS BACK
twelvetwo (Gaim): New York City, this is where the distribution warehouse is for Fuser Units.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Gah, helicopters, I only have nine more of you left. Go for freedom!
- twelvetwo (Gaim) hurls another, but it doesn't quite reach a helicopter. It arcs back into the water, five dead whales bubbles up.
- Fuser watches on the heli-camera as Trith gets out the netgun and aims at Iocus
twelvetwo (Gaim): They sent Trith?!
- Fuser radios Trith through the earpiece
- twelvetwo (Gaim) hefts a fuser unit and waits for Trith to fire the net gun
Fuser: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET IF HE IS CAPTURED ALIVE! AN ENTIRE LEMON ORCHARD!
- Fuser watches as Trith fires the net with perfect aim
- twelvetwo (Gaim) throws the fuser unit at the same time, getting the unit caught into the net.
- Fuser sees Trith immediately fire a second net
twelvetwo (Gaim): Noooo!
- twelvetwo (Gaim) dives into the water, but it is too late, his foot got netted.
- Fuser watches Trith dive from the helicopter and snare Iocus
- twelvetwo (Gaim) scrambles and grabs hold of a fuser unit
- Fuser sees Trith confiscate the units
- twelvetwo (Gaim) tries stuffing the one unit into his pants
- Fuser sees Trith take the unit away and begin tying Iocus up, muttering under his breath
Fuser: YES!
Fuser: SUCCESS!
twelvetwo (Gaim): Trith! Kevson works for Fuser.
- Fuser corrects Iocus
Fuser: HE IS LYING
twelvetwo (Gaim): Kevson works for Fuser! He is on FuserCorp?'s pay roll!
Fuser: KEVSON IS A PRISONER
Fuser: HE WAS IMPRISONED WITH IOCUS
Fuser: I HAVE THE PAPERWORK RIGHT HERE
twelvetwo (Gaim): He lies! Believe me! Look at the financial records!
Fuser: KEVSON IS STILL IN THE CLOUD PRISON
Fuser: HE REMAINS IN SOLITARY WITH THE MICHAEL JACKSON FANS
twelvetwo (Gaim): Not only that but, FuserCorp? produces Fuser Units. He is planning something, don't trust him!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THINK OF THE LEMONS
Fuser: A LEMON ORCHARD
Fuser: ALL YOURS
Fuser: ONCE IOCUS IS RETURNED
twelvetwo (Gaim): THERE WILL BE NO TIME FOR LEMONS IF THE WORLD IS DESTROYED BY FUSER UNITS
Fuser: IOCUS IS TRYING TO DECEIVE YOU
twelvetwo (Gaim): THEIR TRUE PROGRAMMING IS REVEALED ONCE THEY ARE DAMAGED, I WAS GOING TO REVEAL THIS TO THE WORLD. HELP ME.
Fuser: HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN DAMAGING THEM
twelvetwo (Gaim): FUSERCORP HAS A STANDING ARMY OF FUSER UNITS READY. AN EARTHQUAKE OR JUST A GOOD SMACK WILL SET THEM OFF ONTO DESTRUCTION
Fuser: ONE OF THE UNITS YOU CAPTURED IN THE DESTRUCTION OF THAT CITY
Fuser: WAS MODIFIED
Fuser: AND THE MODIFICATIONS... HAD IOCUS' FINGERPRINTS
twelvetwo (Gaim): I WAS TRYING TO REPAIR THEM, BUT I DISCOVERED THAT IT WAS THEIR PURPOSE. NOT TO PRINT, OR TO FUSE, BUT TO DESTROY
- Fuser sends Trith prints of the fingerprints
twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE. THE CLOUD PRISON IS JUST AN EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD ALL THAT THREATEN HIM.
Fuser: SEE?!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THE ISLAND IS NO MORE THAN A TRICK.
Fuser: IOCUS HAS BEEN DOING IT
Fuser: ALL ALONG
twelvetwo (Gaim): YOU WILL BE IN THE CLOUD PRISON NEXT
Fuser: THE ONLY PRISONERS ARE THE FANBOYS
Fuser: AND KEVSON
Fuser: I WAS PAID BY SOCIETY TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE AWAY
Fuser: WHERE THEY CANNOT FOUL UP OUR STREETS AND OUR INTERNET
twelvetwo (Gaim): ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN TO ME, OR FUSER, THE MAN WHO WILLFULLY ALLOWS THESE FUSER UNITS TO BE SOLD EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS THAT WITH ONLY A SLIGHT BUMP THEY BECOME SOCIOPATHIC KILLING MACHINES
Fuser: IOCUS HAS BEEN THE ONE DAMAGING THEM INTENTIONALLY
Fuser: WE HAVE THE SECURITY FOOTAGE
Fuser: HE EVEN DESTROYED A NUNNERY WITH THEM
Fuser: AND HE HAS BEEN MODIFYING THEM
- Fuser has meanwhile sent dozens of other agents who show up on their boats
- twelvetwo (Gaim) while Trith is distracted by the security footage, he takes a fuser unit from the bag and hurls it at the helicopter. Screams from the pilot follows and the rear blade stalls sending it spinning into the ocean to explode.
Fuser: "Good job Trith. We'll take him from here. Here's your lemon deed."
Fuser: SEE!
Fuser: He blew up a helicopter and an innocent pilot!
- twelvetwo (Gaim) dives into the water, having loosened his netting since he began talking to Trith and swims for it
Fuser: A deceitful destroyer!
twelvetwo (Gaim): THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED
- Fuser has a diveteam on the boats pursue Iocus and fire more nets
- Fuser has them drag Iocus back to the ships
- twelvetwo (Gaim) grabs a hold of one of the submerged fuser units and turns it murderous rage toward the water and uses it as propellant.
- Fuser has a team on the land waiting for Iocus
- Fuser begins tightening the cordon
- twelvetwo (Gaim) reaches land and throws the unit at the team. Running into traffic he grabs a parked car and drives it toward the warehouse.
Fuser: DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE, MEN
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS THE FINAL SHOWDOWN, FUSER.
- Fuser rubs his hands gleefully
Fuser: AHA!
Fuser: YOU HAVE DONE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE MEANT TO DO
Fuser: THIS WAS THE FINAL TEST
twelvetwo (Gaim): ALL I HAVE TO DO IS HIT ONE OF THESE FUSER UNITS AND A CHAIN OF EVENTS WILL OCCUR CAUSING ALL OF THEM TO MALFUNCTION.
Fuser: THE FUSER UNITS ARE READY FOR DEPLOYMENT
twelvetwo (Gaim): REVEALING TO THE WORLD THAT FUSERCORP IS A FRONT FOR A SINISTER PLAN
Fuser: IN FACT, THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN
Fuser: LOOK BEFORE YOU
Fuser: THE WAREHOUSE IS EMPTY
Fuser: YOU ARE TRAPPED
twelvetwo (Gaim): OH, MY, STARS. YOU'VE ALREADY SENT THEM AROUND THE WORLD?
Fuser: Men, retrieve the prisoner.
- Fuser meets up with Trith
twelvetwo (Gaim): AS SOON AS THEY ARE TURNED ON THEY'LL BE SO DISPERSED IT WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP THEM ALL
Fuser: He actually thought you were not a part of this...
Fuser: Good job... sir.
twelvetwo (Gaim): TRITH, YOU FOOL. THE LEMONS WILL NOT SURVIVE THE COMING END TIMES
- Fuser has Iocus returned to the island
Fuser: Your performance was... glorious.
Fuser: We simply removed all hope, then provided the fuser units
- twelvetwo (Gaim) sits in the corner.
Fuser: And you did our dirty work for us
Fuser: The world... will blame you.
Fuser: Everything... everything is on tape.
twelvetwo (Gaim): Then, I have nothing else to say then...
Fuser: And when the world seeks answers... they will find it in your... confessions...
twelvetwo (Gaim): I, PROMISE, this will work out for you.
Fuser: Oh, it looks like you have some visitors, Iocus. Say hello to Warder and Houston for me...
twelvetwo (Gaim): I promise you, fuser, this will work out exactly as you want. I PROMISE YOU.
Fuser: Come on, Trith. Let's have some lemons.
- twelvetwo (Gaim) shakes fist angrily
twelvetwo (Gaim): PROMISE YOU
Fuser: When the world is ravaged, who will be there to save them from Iocus' mad tampering.. but you. And who'll step in to rule the world after the destruction but us. From our fuser unit-free cloudbases...
- Fuser activates the universal self-damage button
twelvetwo (Gaim): EPILOGUE
Fuser: The fuser units ravaged the world, destroying all semblance of the existing order and governments...
Fuser: FuserCorp? dispatched teams of trained fuser unit-neutralizers... like Trith...
Fuser: The Island was one of the few safe-havens from the destruction...
twelvetwo (Gaim): On it the new world government was formed, Fuser as World-Soverign began a peaceful rule over the world...
twelvetwo (Gaim): The fuser-units safely dispatched and placed in a giant garbage dumpster as is standard neutralization method...
twelvetwo (Gaim): all was safe and kind for five years... but over those years the fuser-units in such close proximity began to form rudimentary sapience and sentience... the promise given by Iocus was soon broken as the Fuser-Units arose once more and the battle for the Earth began... and would continue... for the next thousand years.
Fuser: SEQUEL
Fuser: A THOUSAND YEARS HAVE PASSED
Fuser: MYSTERIOUSLY, ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE THE SAME
Fuser: BUT NOW THEY ARE ALL WARRIORS
twelvetwo (Gaim): A rogue team of Fuser Neutralizer Monks apprehend a 15th generation Fuser Unit, adjusting its programming they send it back in time to stop the events that brought about the Fuser Unit War.
twelvetwo (Gaim): FUSER UNIT: AUDITING DAY
Fuser: "Your mission is to.. kill Iocus.. before he makes his promise..."
twelvetwo (Gaim): But all is not so easy for the 15th Generation Fuser Unit, for as their time line begins to vanish the Fuser Units react and send into the past cybernetically enhanced Iocus back in time to protect the Iocus of the past. Part-Fuser Unit, Part-Iocus.
twelvetwo (Gaim): The third movie can have a Fuser Unit that is a naked lady with boobs.
Fuser: !!
- Fuser yells at the script writers
Fuser: WHO WROTE THIS CRAP!
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): That would be Melvin, sir.
Fuser: THIS SEQUEL IS NOT EVEN NEAR AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL
twelvetwo (Gaim): Should we add more sexploitation?
Fuser: WHERE ARE ALL THE THINGS THAT MADE THE FIRST ONE GREAT? THE STRUGGLE AGAINST THE OVERARCHING VILLAINY THAT FAILS?! THE HORRIFIC MISTREATMENT OF PRISONERS?! THE DRAMA OF THE CHASE SCENE?!
Fuser: THE FURRIES?!
Fuser: THIS MOVIE HAS NONE OF IT!
twelvetwo (Gaim): There is a fourty minute rave dance sex scene involving only furries.
Fuser: IT IS JUST A TWO HOUR BATTLE
twelvetwo (Gaim): WE CAN ADD MORE EXPLOSIONS?
Fuser: AND IN THE END THEY DON'T EVEN RESOLVE ANYTHING
Fuser: THEY JUST WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS THE MIDDLE EPISODE OF A TRILOGY
Fuser: THIS IS CRAP
twelvetwo (Gaim): ALL THE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED BY THE THIRD MOVIE
Fuser: IF I DON'T GET A BETTER SCRIPT, I AM CANCELLING YOUR FUNDING AND YOU CAN GO BACK TO THE SPECIAL NEEDS HOME YOU OLYMPIC WASHUP
twelvetwo (Gaim): :(
twelvetwo (Gaim): IT IS SO HARD FOR A JAMIACAN TO WIN THE OLYMPIC GOLD IN CURLING